Is it possible to have a conversation with someone who is unable or unwilling to acknowledge that your perspective on the issue- though completely different than his own- may have elements of truth to it? To put it another way: Is it worth the effort to converse with a person who is convinced she has nothing new to learn on the subject, ensuring that her opinion will not change regardless of a different perspective, experience, or source of information?
I’ve been wondering about this for a while. My interest isn’t in any specific subject or conversation topic, but in the posture we take when confronted with opinions and beliefs that differ from our own. This becomes interesting when an opinion is closely held like, say, the current debates about health care or immigration reform. It becomes even more interesting when those with differing opinions share the same convictions in other important areas, such as religious belief or political ideology.
Are we able to talk with and listen to those we disagree with? I ask, because I’m not sure we can.
As someone without cable, I’m always borderline appalled by the tenor of the 24-hour news networks. It’s amazing how much can be said with so much conviction with the full knowledge that no one is going to change their mind! It’s clear that the talking (shouting) heads are directing their expert opinions at the already convinced. In a way, these cable channels remind me of some of the sermons and teaching I’ve heard in my years in church. The efforts to prove the superiority of our faith are, in reality, meant mostly for the already-convinced. This may not be bad, but shouldn’t be mistaken for good-faith conversation.
Why, aside from the loss of civility, does this matter? We live at a time when we can get our news and opinions from a source whose ideology we agree with. We can choose a church based on our list of preferences. Even the selection of friends, perhaps unintentionally, involves shared beliefs and views of the world. Within this context, disagreements must be manufactured: whose college football team should be ranked higher this week. The real work of conversation disappeared when we lost touch with that last odd friend (i.e. left-wing, right-wing, fundamentalist Christian, atheist) from the old days.
Even so, I think it matters whether or not we’re able to converse with those whose lives and perspectives differ from our own. For one, it’s just silly to think we have all the information or knowledge we need to never shift our views. This is particularly true of Christians who believe we only know God because God has revealed God’s-self to us. We, of all people, are deeply aware of our inability to know everything fully.
Secondly, even the most culturally insular places are now exposed to all sorts of diversity. It’s impossible to miss the impact a person’s culture and life experience has on the way the world is viewed. Again, Christians ought to be on the leading edge of this. We belong to a faith tradition that spans the globe and which looks radically different depending on cultural traditions and values. Are we able to converse with those we differ with, acknowledging that our differences are likely shaped by where we come from?
Here’s my last reason why conversation matters- though I hope you’ll chime in with some additions. When we stop listening to those with whom we differ, we stop learning. Some of my most profound moments of understanding started at points of disagreement. In a class, at a pub or over an online exchange, when I’ve shut up for a few minutes and began to ask questions (Why do you think that?) my own viewpoint is enhanced. This isn’t about gaining more information but acquiring wisdom. The ways of God become more evident to us when we have new vantage points from which to observe and experience God’s activity and character.
I care about conversation because I’m aware of how little I know. I care about conversation because the world is a fascinating place filled with incredible people who have amazing stories to tell. Here’s hoping for more contrarian and kind partners in conversation.
David W. Swanson 
Leave a reply to David Cancel reply